The Dialectic of Openness and Closedness is Related to: How We Communicate in Relationships

One of the most fascinating aspects of human relationships is the dynamic interplay between opposing forces or tendencies that we experience in our interactions with others. These forces, known as relational dialectics, create tensions and contradictions that we need to manage and balance in order to maintain satisfying and meaningful connections. One of the most common and important relational dialectics is the dialectic of openness and closedness, which refers to the desire to be open and honest with others while at the same time not wanting to reveal everything about ourselves to someone else. In this article, we will explore how this dialectic affects our communication in different types of relationships, such as romantic, family, friendship, and professional.

The Dialectic of Openness and Closedness in Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships are often based on the premise of openness, which means that both partners have to be honest, transparent, and vulnerable with each other. Openness can foster trust, intimacy, and commitment, as well as help resolve conflicts and problems. However, openness also has its drawbacks, such as exposing one’s weaknesses, insecurities, and flaws, or risking rejection, betrayal, or criticism. Therefore, some degree of closedness is also necessary in romantic relationships, as it allows us to maintain our privacy, autonomy, and identity. Closedness can also protect us from being hurt or manipulated by others, as well as create a sense of mystery and curiosity that can enhance attraction and excitement.

The dialectic of openness and closedness in romantic relationships can manifest in various ways, such as:

  • How much personal information we share with our partners, such as our past experiences, feelings, thoughts, opinions, preferences, goals, dreams, fears, etc.
  • How much we disclose about our other relationships, such as our friends, family members, ex-partners, co-workers, etc.
  • How much we reveal about our activities, whereabouts, plans, etc.
  • How much we express our emotions, needs, wants, expectations, etc.
  • How much we ask or answer questions about our partners’ personal information, other relationships, activities, emotions, etc.
  • How much we listen or respond to our partners’ disclosures or expressions.

The optimal balance between openness and closedness in romantic relationships depends on various factors, such as:

  • The stage and duration of the relationship. Generally speaking, openness tends to increase as the relationship progresses from initial attraction to deeper involvement. However, there may be fluctuations or reversals depending on the circumstances or challenges that the relationship faces.
  • The personality and communication style of each partner. Some people are more open or closed than others by nature or by habit. Some people prefer direct or indirect communication. Some people are more comfortable or skilled at disclosing or listening than others.
  • The context and situation of the communication. Some topics or situations may require more or less openness or closedness than others. For example, some issues may be more sensitive or controversial than others. Some settings may be more private or public than others.
  • The expectations and norms of the relationship. Each relationship has its own rules or agreements about what is appropriate or inappropriate to share or conceal. These rules may be explicit or implicit, consistent or inconsistent, flexible or rigid.

The challenge for romantic partners is to find a way to negotiate and manage the dialectic of openness and closedness that works for both of them and for their relationship. This may involve:

  • Communicating openly and respectfully about their preferences and boundaries regarding openness and closedness.
  • Being attentive and responsive to their partner’s cues and signals regarding openness and closedness.
  • Adapting their level of openness and closedness according to the changing needs and situations of their relationship.
  • Seeking feedback and confirmation from their partner about their level of openness and closedness.
  • Resolving any conflicts or misunderstandings that may arise from their differences or discrepancies in openness and closedness.

The Dialectic of Openness and Closedness in Family Relationships

Family relationships are another type of relationships that involve the dialectic of openness and closedness. Family members are often expected to be open and supportive with each other, as they share a common history, identity, and bond. However, family members also need to respect each other’s privacy, individuality, and autonomy, as they grow, change, and develop their own lives.

The dialectic of openness and closedness in family relationships can manifest in various ways, such as:

  • How much personal information we share with our family members, such as our feelings, thoughts, opinions, preferences, goals, dreams, fears, etc.
  • How much we disclose about our other relationships, such as our friends, partners, co-workers, etc.
  • How much we reveal about our activities, whereabouts, plans, etc.
  • How much we express our emotions, needs, wants, expectations, etc.
  • How much we ask or answer questions about our family members’ personal information, other relationships, activities, emotions, etc.
  • How much we listen or respond to our family members’ disclosures or expressions.

The optimal balance between openness and closedness in family relationships depends on various factors, such as:

  • The type and role of the family member. Different family members may have different levels of closeness or distance with each other, depending on their relationship, such as parent-child, sibling-sibling, grandparent-grandchild, etc. Different family members may also have different responsibilities or expectations with each other, depending on their role, such as caregiver, provider, protector, mentor, etc.
  • The age and life stage of the family member. As family members grow older or enter different phases of life, their level of openness or closedness may change accordingly. For example, children may become more open or closed with their parents as they reach adolescence or adulthood. Parents may become more open or closed with their children as they age or retire.
  • The culture and tradition of the family. Different families may have different values or beliefs about openness or closedness, depending on their cultural or religious background, education, or social class. Some families may emphasize more openness or closedness than others, as a way of expressing respect, loyalty, or honor.
  • The context and situation of the communication. Some topics or situations may require more or less openness or closedness than others. For example, some issues may be more personal or private than others. Some settings may be more formal or informal than others.

The challenge for family members is to find a way to negotiate and manage the dialectic of openness and closedness that works for them and for their family. This may involve:

  • Communicating openly and respectfully about their preferences and boundaries regarding openness and closedness.
  • Being attentive and responsive to their family members’ cues and signals regarding openness and closedness.
  • Adapting their level of openness and closedness according to the changing needs and situations of their family.
  • Seeking feedback and confirmation from their family members about their level of openness and closedness.
  • Resolving any conflicts or misunderstandings that may arise from their differences or discrepancies in openness and closedness.

The Dialectic of Openness and Closedness in Friendship Relationships

Friendship relationships are another type of relationships that involve the dialectic of openness and closedness. Friends are often chosen based on the similarity of interests, values, attitudes, or personalities. Friends are also expected to be open and supportive with each other, as they share experiences, opinions, advice, or secrets. However, friends also need to respect each other’s privacy, individuality, and autonomy, as they have their own lives, goals, and relationships.

The dialectic of openness and closedness in friendship relationships can manifest in various ways, such as:

  • How much personal information we share with our friends, such as our feelings, thoughts, opinions, preferences, goals, dreams, fears, etc.
  • How much we disclose about our other relationships, such as our family members, partners, co-workers, etc.
  • How much we reveal about our activities, whereabouts, plans, etc.
  • How much we express our emotions, needs, wants, expectations, etc.
  • How much we ask or answer questions about our friends’ personal information, other relationships, activities, emotions, etc.
  • How much we listen or respond to our friends’ disclosures or expressions.

The optimal balance between openness and closedness in friendship relationships depends on various factors, such as:

  • The type and level of the friendship. Different friends may have different levels of closeness or distance with each other, depending on the type of friendship, such as acquaintance, casual friend, close friend, best friend, etc. Different friends may also have different levels of involvement or commitment with each other, depending on the level of friendship, such as occasional contact, regular contact, frequent contact, constant contact, etc.
  • The duration and history of the friendship. As friendships last longer or go through different stages, their level of openness or closedness may change accordingly. For example, new friends may be more open or closed than old friends. Old friends may be more open or closed than new friends. Friends who have experienced ups and downs together may be more open or closed than friends who have not.
  • The similarity and diversity of the friendship. Friends who have similar interests, values, attitudes, or personalities may be more open or closed than friends who have different ones. Friends who have diverse backgrounds, experiences, perspectives, or cultures may be more open or closed than friends who do not.
  • The context and situation of the communication. Some topics or situations may require more or less openness or closedness than others. For example, some issues may be more fun or serious than others. Some settings may be more relaxed or tense than others.

The challenge for friends is to find a way to negotiate and manage the dialectic of openness and closedness that works for them and for their friendship. This may involve:

  • Communicating openly and respectfully about their preferences and boundaries regarding openness and closedness.
Doms Desk

Leave a Comment